Product Marketing Campaign of the Year

The Washlet is some of the most remarkable
technology you'll find anywhere.
But you find it all in a toilet seat.
Outside, it uses advanced anti-microbial plastic to fight germs.
Inside, its got more in common with your laptop computer
Than any toilet you've ever found.

... and the award goes to... Washlet.com, shilling the best product since Jesus. You really have to just click on the link to understand how a toilet can change your life.

Adam just came back from vacation in Japan where he had the pleasure of being introduced to this monument to germiphobic tendencies.

The scary part is that I can kind of understand their point about the washlet -- "We humans love water... when it comes to hygiene, paper tends to.. distribute the problem". One morning in Hawaii I woke up to the intense feeling of needing to go to the bathroom immediately, only to find that my roommate was in one of her marathon showers. I did the potty dance in the hallway for about 5 minutes before realizing I had reached the point of no return. I dashed over to my landlord's side of the house, hoping to find the back door open (no pun intended) but no such luck.

I had no choice. His garden pagoda with rubber hose trailing off behind was an alluring invitation that I had no choice but to accept. I ran behind the pagoda, bent over in front of a row of ti leaf plants and indulged myself the way God intended. Afterward I made use of the handy hose and made a discovery -- cold water on that spot in the morning wakes you up better than a couple of shots of espresso.

Best Dialogue Ever

The lucky ones are dead.
Of the others, some will go mad.
The others will slowly rot away and die
In gradual agony.

We have won the war.
We are the sole survivors.
It belongs to us.
But it means that we are extinct as a race.
Unless of course we can find some good breeding stock
And repopulate our planet.

- Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965)

Only Dr. Adam Steele can save the Earth's women from being kidnapped for re-stocking an alien planet decimated by nuclear war.

Thanks to not poking smot anymore, I never have the patience to watch camp classics all the way through. Luckily AMC has posted condensed camp classics on the internet for your enjoyment, all under 10 minutes in duration.

Unstoppable Force vs. Immovable Object

I have been thinking about this paradox all day today and decided to finally look it up on the internet to see what the collective wisdom is on this issue.

According to Wikipedia, logic dictates that ultimately the two cannot exist in the same universe.


Case closed.

Link

Epilogue: Paradoxically, according to the laws of physics as we currently understand them, the unstoppable force and the immovable object are made up of the same stuff -- infinite mass -- both of which would ultimately collapse into themselves due to gravity and create a spacetime singularity, which is what the universe was at the beginning of the Big Bang.

Useless Trivia: In a Knight Rider episode (Trust doesn't Rust), the paradox is wrongly attributed to Zeno of Elea and its meaning is intentionally distorted.

I, James

I, James, have known love, and love is an immense madness of spiritual intoxication. I remembered that I had once stood on the edge of a vast ocean of love, and love had saturated my soul like music... The great madness of love had brought me into the world many times... and now as I returned to the physical after the long respite of the soul, I trembled as I sensed the cyclonic vortex of the world's rage.

Hey Bungalow Bill

What did you kill?

Good taste, apparently.

Another pure nugget from The Kingdom of Giggle has surfaced here from deep in the bowels of workdom. Reminds me of my uncle's houseboat in Sausalito called The Owl -- two parts Austin Powers, one part Ladies' Man -- which in the 70's was covered in brownish orange shag carpeting complete with sunken living room surrounded by an unrelenting army of potted ferns that grew out of knotted macrame hangers mounted to a beam across the ceiling. It's called the Owl because it is conspicuously shaped and painted like an Owl. You can see it for yourself if you ever hop over the bridge to Sausalito. God forgive me if he ever reads this blog post. Sorry, Skipper.

Adam has generously pointed me to the website for the book "Interior Desecrations", dedicated to all the horrible room decorations that we in our 30's remember from early childhood in the late 70s, interior decoration which later became fodder for many a bad acid trip later in life. Here is a tasty sample to whet your palette:



... This appears to be a work of art based on the butts of three shaved cats. Make that three spore-shedding shaved cats from the Tangerine Dimension. Remember, friends: always coordinate your gigantic, room-smothering wallcoverings with your napkin rings. People notice such things...

Check out the rest of the site...

Mr Lee and the CatCam

I came home from a week's vacation last week to find that Rafiki had a rip in his ear and a swatch of fur missing from one of his little black forepaws. The rip in his ear was quite a puncture and was swollen up by the time i got home, and the fur is gone from all around it. As I dutifully dressed his battle-wounds I wondered what kind of predator he had battled and suchlike things.

Somebody at work forwarded this website to me -- the WebWorld of JP: Project CatCamera. I dont know why I never thought of it before. Strapping a camera to a cat and seeing just what their day really looks like: where they go, who they see, their friends, their enemies, their afternoon nap spot. It's pretty fascinating, check it out.

Define: Maniac

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html

and, one level of maniac deeper:
http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/review.html

I kind of respect this level of mania; truth be told, i am slightly awed.

(aside to you true nerds out there re: link #1 - you know who you are): he actually created individual pages for each erroneous dichotomy i.e. critique/criticize instead of hacking some javascript or php/sql thingie instead to save time (no doubt because of his earnest interest in the Google ranking described in link #2).

Ewwwwww

Why Google scares the crap out of me, part 337.