Tell Us How You Really Feel

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Hot Chicks With Douchebags

So G wrote me this morning saying that he veered off onto my website recently before going on to the rest of the internet to search for hot naked girls; he sent his regards and condolensces on my mental trip... I guess that's what I get for asking my humble horde of readers for suggestions as to where to take the blog next. So here you go, my favorites "hot chicks" site, by reader demand (ok i exaggerate but this is funny):



http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

And in other news that is too good to be true, it was Africa Malaria Day at the White House. This is the best clip ever. My favorite reader comment, "I hope Bush understands that Africa Malaria Day is not a celebration of it."

Where Do I Even Begin?

The astute reader may have noticed that I havent really blogged here since, uh, February... And the longer the time passed and the weirder things got, the harder it got to even know how to start again. So I decided to condense the events of the last few months down into a concise list:

In chronological order, I:

• Had a mental breakdown the likes of which I have never experienced before and hope never to again


• Had several profound insights during this period as to the nature of the core of the being I currently inhabit


• Expelled a ragged, jagged kidney stone from my body after 12 hours of "labor"


• Cut all but about 3 or 4 inches of hair off my head


• Started a "new" job and work in downtown SF everyday (thank-you God)


• Grew the biggest bok choy plant you have ever seen. Seriously. Its burly.


• Re-acquainted myself with a cousin in Tennessee that I havent seen in years and laughed heartily about our dysfunctional family.


• Disassembled plumbing in the women's restroom at the Squat and Gobble restaurant in the Marina looking for said cousins wife's $10k diamond that fell out of its setting and down the drain. That's what you get for slumming.


• Found out what acupuncture "alarm points" are when Michael visited and treated me for said mental breakdown.


• Started therapy and after asking therapist how long she think I should continue to come, I realized after she emitted a long chuckle that I might have a bit of shit to talk about for a while.

I started to try to write a post about my mental breakdown about a month ago, but realized that maybe I wasnt ready to start blogging again when the posting quickly devolved into musings about a painting from Francisco Goya's black period called "Saturn Eats His Young", which he painted during a spell spent in a mental institution due to a nasty bout with viral encephalitis. Needless to say, I shitcanned that post and went back into hiding for a while.

I am slowly and cautiously emerging from my cocoon, but reserve the right to go back in at any time. I am at a loss of what tangent to even start exploring from the list above, so if you have any ideas or idle curiosities, just drop a note.

Saturn Return, You Have Kicked My Ass.
I'm sure I will be eternally grateful at some point... Still... getting... there.

Our Regularly Scheduled Program

... Will soon return after these messages...

(This is my blog's version of when James Brown would drop down on one knee and his band would throw a cape over him and try to usher him off the stage at the end of his coked-out shows from the 70s, only to have him dramatically throw off the cape at the last moment and run back to the mic for one more... only instead of coke i have rapid mood swings and instead of a band i have two acupuncturists, a therapist, a rolfer, and a meditation teacher.)